Reflections: On Quiet Time

Quiet time, or I suppose more formally called Individual Worship or Spiritual Introspection, is the act of communing with God by silently spending time in worship of Him or Her. Almost all formal religions I know of have a form of this, and is almost always the most basic expression of faith. From Christianity’s almost unstructured prayer to the more formal Muslim practice of Salat, among many forms, quiet worship is most often a corner stone to any form of faith.

However, Christianity is one of the forms of faith blessed with the privilege of their deity communicating back to them, in an almost direct, if not fully direct manner. Some holy Christians often claim that they could hear the voice of God, and while some deserve the benefit of the doubt, there is no way to prove that they do or don’t actually hear the voice of God, which the Bible claim can come in the form of a “gentle whisper” amidst mountain tearing winds and roaring flames (1 Kings 11-13). However, the effect is clear from those who experience quiet time in its truest sense, because indeed, God answers and communes with those who seek Him out.

Today, I’ve learned a very important lesson about individual worship. I am ashamed to admit that I have not been very faithful with my observance of quiet time; that I am not. I have been distracted, you see, by work, pressing issues within the family and sin. I’ve been having a hard time protecting my quiet time, to the point that I couldn’t have a good quiet time at all, and the effects are very readily apparent and obvious. Restlessness, the feeling that I could shoulder everything on my own, resentment towards the people that I am supposed to love; all these are ill-effects of not being able to talk to God and hear His answer to my problems.

However, God is deserving of praise and thanksgiving, because even in my darkest hours, He continues to be my undeserved light. I’m phrasing this so metaphorically and poetically, but I cannot help it because it is the truth; God finds a way to reach out even to the most undeserving of all of us, and if we fail to listen, we could definitely miss His “gentle whisper”. But in His love for us, He continues to talk to us, to reach out to us. I suppose you might ask, why does He always only “gently whispers”, and not send out roaring flames or shattering earthquakes, but I suppose even the loudest fires are but a gentle whisper to those who do not turn their heads to listen. But still, even if we do fail to turn our heads, His love is so great that He still constantly and consistently tries to reach out to us, and we only need to heed and listen.

I just experienced a very devastating event today. I was planning on continuing work the moment I wake up, because I have a very important deadline today. I even slept early and all! But not an hour into my sleep, I found out my PC had broken down and overheated. I was stirred awake by my PC’s constant attempts to boot back up, and the smell of something burning. I do not know why it broke down, but more importantly, I did not know why it had to do so today, of all times. I know it’s a small problem compared to most, but considering that I have been under constant heavy fire from stress for the past couple of days, this was a very heavy blow, and it almost drove me crazy.

I couldn’t sleep, so to pass the time, I decided to load up some old anime episodes so I can finally get to watch them. I watched a few episodes of the 90’s hit Rurouni Kenshin, a story of a manslayer turned wanderer who uses his sword to defend the people he loves. I have always been enamored by his character and by the fact that he is ready to give his life away to save and protect others. I have always identified myself with that sort of stereotype, the cool guy who is ready to give everything just so his friends could live happily. I try my best to do the same, and I have always valued my life a little less than others’. I suppose that’s how I have seen myself; indeed it is.

At first glance, this sort of approach to living seems to imply and embody humility. How much more humble can you get when even your life you don’t value as much as you value other people’s lives right? However, the episode that I watched spoke to me. To those who know the show, you should be familiar with the episode where Kenshin finally learned the final technique of the kenjutsu style he practices. The secret of the technique is to value everyone’s lives equally, including ones own. And that was key! You cannot truly be a humble man who wishes to serve others if you cannot accept that your life has value as well.

How does this all relate to quiet time you might ask? Rather simply, I suppose one reason why we forget to spend quiet time is because we feel we could shoulder the weight of the world on our own. We do not want to let God in into our problems, not because we don’t think God can help (which is why, pushed to the limit, people of faith finally turn to God when all else fails), but because we think we can do everything on our own! Sure, we ask for guidance and help, but when we are faced with difficult and stressful problems, isn’t quiet time the first thing we remove from our priority lists? And why? Because we do not hear God’s answer immediately? Does this not show how little we trust in our unlimited God and how much we trust on our own limited abilities and strengths instead?

I suppose there isn’t really any problem relying on our own strength, as, after all, we can consider these as gifts given to us so we can go about our day to day lives. However, we as humble human beings have finite strengths, and it’s foolish to think that we can shoulder everything on our own. We have natural limits, and while this should not stop us from progressing as human beings, these should also not compel us to stop relying on God!

Because sometimes, our computers break down, and our hopes can get dashed. But we should not lose hope, because ultimately, God will find a way. God will make a way, if we trust and rely in Him. How do I know this, when the day isn’t over yet and I am actually still in limbo because I don’t know what else I could do? Well, I don’t know myself, but one thing is for certain: I would not be able to get through today on my own, and I would have to trust that God will give me a way.

And this is what I found out on that episode, and from the untimely computer break down. I suppose God is telling me that I should not overlook my own life, and that God wants me to be happy too. God wants me to value my own life as well as the life of others. God wants me to stop thinking that everything should be on my expense and that I should always be looking forward to burning myself out, because I have a powerful ally by my side who is more than willing to help me achieve happiness, and would help me become a blessing to others as well. God wants me to put my trust in Him, and to believe that He would help me achieve my goals – no, the goals He has set for me to achieve. And these goals aren’t to merely labor and toil over something that does not lead to happiness, to sweat over something that does not bear fruit. No, these goals are goals that would let me live to my fullest, to live as a satisfied and accomplished human being.

And the first step to this is to restore my quiet time.

Yes, I suppose God talked to me in the form of an anime episode and through a computer break down. It’s funny how God can use these mundane things to talk to us. I suppose it’s a testament to His love; He wants to reach out to us, and because we do not listen to the most effective form of communing with Him, He talks to us via other things instead. It was definitely limited, however. How much more would I hear His voice if I am in genuine unhurried quiet time, when He is talking to me in the most direct and effective manner?

Through that episode, I learned that I should not bear the weight of everything on my own, and through the computer break down, God had basically told me to rely in Him, for He will make a way. And through everything that has happened, God has encouraged me to restore my quiet time, because how else would I be able to hear Him effectively than through individual worship and spiritual introspection?

Have a blessed day!